


That bastard!

by Swagriver



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crack, Death note narrating, Hand Jobs, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Matsuda is mentioned, cock - Freeform, penis - Freeform, this is a work in progress, wammys kids will be mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:15:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29031525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swagriver/pseuds/Swagriver
Summary: Um basically Lawlight if it was narrated like it is in canon
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Things to note:
> 
> \- I don’t ship L and Light especially when Light has his full memories and wants to kill L.  
> \- this is me writing the characters closer to how I feel like they would act in actual fanfic situations  
> -I’m not trying to baby or demonize either of them. I relate to their traits and I’m just writing their emotions closer to how I CAN write them.  
> \- please don’t take this too seriously

It had been a long day at work. The Kira case seemed never ending , but in a way the two males felt like everything had gone too fast. Today was the opposite, it was a slow and unforgiving pace that reminded Light of his days at school. Light became so bored he was forced to talk to Matsuda of all people, approximately 5 minutes of listening to that babbling idiot speak.

“Say Light” said L, turning to Light in his chair like he was talking to someone behind him “Why don’t we pack it up for today?” 

“fucking finally” Thought Light, though out loud he responded in his usual polite (almost too much so tone) “Alright , why not?”. 

After the whole task force stacked their papers and went home Light and L once again remained alone in the massive tower they worked in. Well of course Misa was also somewhere on her floor but that task was for another time. For the meantime they walked silently side by side , chains clinking together at random intervals. They both appreciated this silence more than they would ever admit. Small talk was something that irritated them both to no end.. why talk at all if you just want to aimlessly flap your mouth about the weather.

They finally arrived at their room and plopped down on the separate twin sized beds with a sigh. Light knew that work was never over for L, and that this sometimes was the hardest part of the day. Light Yagami had been forced to pretend he enjoyed the company of many people throughout his life. Always acting, his scripted personality attracted everyone. What aggravated him most is that none of this seemed to work on L no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t know what was genuine friendship anymore and he certainly couldn’t discern this rejection between pure confusion or purposeful disgust.

The other side of the coin was L. Completely deprived of any relationships , he didn’t even know if he needed what he was lacking. He treated people as an experiment , maybe because that was the only knowledge of human contact he had himself. Light Yagami, however, was the first person in his life that made him genuinely curious about emotions. Just what was there going on behind that facade of his.

“Hey Light..”

“What is it Ryuzaki?”

“I have a question” 

Of course he does - thought Light.. “ Ok. Ask away then.”

“Do you have emotions?” L asked with his usual wide eyed empty expression 

“What do you mean ‘Do I have emotions?’ Obviously I do or I wouldn’t be doing all this. What kind of question even is that?!” 

“Sorry” 

“No- wait don’t be sorry. Yes Ryuzaki I have many emotions , all the time in fact.”

Light waited for L to respond but they landed in an awkward silence. Staring at each other from the five feet between their beds. 

Eventually Light spoke up again “ What kinda of emotions do you want know about L?”

“Ryuzaki” 

“Sorry. Ryuzaki”

L thought deeply to himself.. Light was an.. interesting person. If he tried to test things out on him it wouldn’t really matter right? He has to examine every part of him to figure out what Kira is like. This is a part of the case . A part he really really might regret. To be fair Light is always acting so he might as well play his game.

L crosses the short distance between their beds and sits down next to like. He stares at his face making sure he gets every single detail of his reaction. 

“Um- Ryuzaki.. what exactly are you plotting here?” —- “This fucking bitch.” Light was now immersed in thought. “If I play this situation like I’m actually competent he’ll immediately assume I’m manipulating him. Thus , forcing me to be submissive... but if I act like I enjoy this maybe that will also raise his suspicions. I can’t do anything.. I guess I’ll have to be natural” 

“Ryuzaki..” Light looks directly at L’s face , inches from his own. Dark eyes met his own and it was like this hole of dark matter opened up below him. “What is it Light? Is there something wrong? I can remove mysel-“ “No! I mean , this is fine” Light quickly responded , almost stuttering and falling over his words. He hated this , nothing was more agonizing that feel this weak in front on someone else. He felt sweat, tepid in his palms. Only felt like too much- emotion , failure. It was too much.

L wasn’t dumb. He was a natural disaster at social situations but he knew something was off. He wanted to help ease the distress he saw on his suspects face but he barely knew how. He has tried to give him cake before but it didn’t work.. I mean what sort of person doesn’t feel better after cake. Light made no sense to him. He knew he must be the one cause all this pain for Light Yagami. It wasn’t that he didn’t care , but he simply was incapable of helping others. He tried anyways.

“Light. It’s ok. I’m not going to judge you for being human.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“It’s ok to not be fine.”

“I am totally calm.”

“Light even someone like me knows that isn’t true” 

Right then and there something snapped inside him. Pure , unbridled rage seep through every crevice in his brain. This asshole was trying to humiliate him and he simply couldn’t handle it. Suddenly every thought about the person in front of him spilled and for the first time he could remember, there was no hope filtering himself.

“What is wrong with you L? Stop trying to fuck with me. Do you think I’m some sort of fun little puzzle for you to figure out? I doubt you’ve ever understood a singular aspect of humanity in your entire life, but here you are picking at me like I’m it’s last remains.I don’t need you L. I don’t need you to fix me. I know you think I’m Kira. I’m not. I’m honestly sorry because I wish I could be what you want from him. You want a detective case in a person that you can just constantly solve over and over again. I just can’t be that for you.”

In that moment when he closed his eyes Light felt peaceful, maybe expressing emotions wasn’t so bad. 

And then. He opened them.

L sat there in front of him closed in on himself, hair covering his eyes. Light could tell he had done something very wrong but he couldn’t understand what.

“It’s ok. You are right.”

“Wait- no. L-ryuzaki I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine. I said I wouldn’t judge you and I’m not. You’re right.” L sighed and shifted away. He should have known. For his entire life his presence has only made people uncomfortable so why would it be different this time? 

“Listen - Light. I know I’m not like other people and I’ve come to terms with the fact I’ll never be   
normal. You can pretend to be different than I am but I just can’t do it. I can’t - not be like this. trust me I’ve tried.” 

Light suddenly, but carefully in a way not to startle the detective- grabbed L’s shoulder. He didn’t look into his eyes because he knew how much they both hated that but he spoke earnestly.

“L I’m going to be honest. When I first met you I thought you were - strange. But soon I realized how much we are alike. In some way you show a part of me that I hate, but I’ve come to understand maybe I like that part of me on you.” 

L quickly looks up to inspect the younger man’s to detect any lies - but is heavy eyes appeared to catch on nothing out of the usual. There was around a 82% he was telling the truth here. 

“L.” 

“Yes?”

“I’m not Kira”

“Perhaps..”

“I’m not Kira but maybe I don’t HAVE to be him” 

“ ... what do you mean by that exactly?” 

Light realized this was a point of no return , there was no lying to L. He was always going to question everything so there was no point. He was chained to this scraggly little bitch and he might as well have some fun while he’s at it.

The rivalry was still pinned in the back of both their minds.

“I can provide what you need maybe for a bit.”

Light leaned in closer to L’s face, trying to assert dominance but failing before he even knew it. 

“What is it that you think I need Light?”

Light fumbled but tried to caress L’s neck in a smooth way. It was this act of “swaggyness” that was so sad it reminded L of a character from one of Near’s favorite American cartoons.. Tobias ? The one with the sports headband.. 

L chuckled. 

“Why are you laughing at me ?” Shit. He wasn’t swooned at all ! He’d have to kick it up a notch. 

Light grinned and leaned towards L’s ear. “I can be Kira if you want L” he whispered “look at you. You are right here in my arms, I have won.”

At this point L broke out in a laughter Light had never seen anyone produce. He was cackling so hard he was worried L would die from a heart attack. The man eats a gallon of sugar a day , he is probably on his last limb. 

“Ryuzaki! What is so fucking funny?” 

This somehow made L howl with laughter even more , he was wheezing so hard every few seconds it looked like his chest was caving in.

“Are-“ he wheezes again “HAHA are you- are you gonna ask me to call you daddy ? Or - or “ actual tears are flowing out of his eyes now “God or something?!” 

“N-no what the fuck.” Light frowned “calm down ok. It’s not that funny. I know you think I’m hot”

“Yeah I guess”- L said wiping away his tears “ you are very attractive Light don’t worry”

“I know”

L suddenly out of no where changed his attitude completely. 

“So Light.. do you really want to know what I want from you?” 

Well... this was going to be a challenge.


	2. He’s got me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry my friends are making me write this part. I have not written stuff like this before oh and also my grammar and spelling are criminal I’m sorry...

Light fell down on his back with a thump as L pinned his wrists together, the metallic clacking of their chain ringing next to his ear. L let go of one of the hands he was using to restrain the man below him to cup Light’s face. “Light I know what you really want, and it just so works out it’s the same thing I wish for.” 

Light had never seen, had never even thought of L like this. He didn’t know whether to punch him or run away - inevitably he ended up doing neither. 

“Light. You’ve worked so hard your entire life. So have I. I know we both enjoy learning. We are so similar in so many ways.”

“Yes.” Light could barely speak. He desperately tried to think clearly.. he couldn’t let this happen like this, he had to turn it around. 

But L just keep getting closer, like a game of battleship. Two bodies at a steady clash of wits. One person just had to hit the right spot and knock the other down. 

L leaned into Light completely hovering over the other. “You said I thought of you like a puzzle.” L still did not let go of Light’s arms but completely put his lips over his. “You could say that. What I really want is to uncover everything about you.” Light at this point was completely dazed and frustrated, but he wasn’t just going to stop this from happening. 

The second L let go of Light’s hands he felt them all over 😏. Their lips finally met and at that very moment they never realized how much they needed it. They made out so fervently it surprised them both (lmao). 

“L .. please” he could admit defeat just yet !

“Whats wrong??” Like said , acting completely unaware of what Light wanted “can you tell me?”

He choked “ please.” 

“Please what? I can’t help you if you don’t use your words.” 

‘What an asshole..’ Light thought. ‘This sadist wants to completely humiliate me! I won’t let him. He can try all he wants but he can’t outsmart me.’

L moves his hand strategically just below the now very prominent bulge in Light’s pants. ‘Submit to me Kira’ 

“You bitch! Don’t think I’ll let this get to me. You see L I’m really not like many guys my age- I simply don’t nee- FUCKINGJESUSCHRISTONACHRISTMASMORNING”

L Palmed down even harder on Light’s crotch, throughly amused. 

“I’m actually the same way. I just need to satisfy those urges at all.”

Light keened, his hips moving up in a sad attempt to get anymore friction from L’s hand on him.

“Ok ok please you won just fucking touch me asshole.” 

L did as he was told and unzipped the khakis (ew) , pulling down pants and underwear together freeing the hard dick (?). 

“Oh hello there little guy”

“What the actual fuck”

“Little Light jr”

“Stop talking to my cock wtf”

“Fine...”

L not knowing what to do kinda just stared at it not knowing what to do. He couldn’t just play patty cake with the mother fucker he had to do something..

Experimentally he wrapped his hand around the top. 

Light whimpered desperately, clinging onto the dark hair above him whilst hiding his face into the pillow. 

‘.. well that seems to work’ - thought L. He began to repeat the same pattern in his wrist - occasionally circling finger or two lightly around the tip. Droplets of precum dripping from the top .. ( I’m going to pass away)

Not knowing what came into him, L decided to lick. (Slurp slurp ig)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m actually really sorry about this
> 
> Update: i may be gay I don’t like this


End file.
